Fathers Day

Have you ever sat in a coffee house waiting for someone to arrive? There is that dilemma of, "Do I order my coffee? Do I wait? Is that guy going to order the last scone?"

There is an odd sense of anticipation in that moment. Groups of people are talking at tables nearby. Others sit alone, yet their solitude has a purpose. You sit alone.....waiting.

Today has left me feeling a lot like that. I have been sitting in my little coffee house staring at an empty seat. I have been a father for just over five years and have always had a good relationship with my own father.

However, there are some very important people in my life that are reminded by a absence in their life today, and I hurt with them.

I have been reading about two guys named Joshua and Eleazar. These guys are the ones that were given the torch after Aaron and Moses. After years of leading the Isrealites in the desert, Moses and Aaron are "gathered to their people," or pass on, and the Hebrew nation is left in the hands of Joshua and Eleazar.

In reality, these men are probably past what we would call middle-aged, but I like to think of them as two young men that have just been handed a great responsibility. The inadequacy they must have felt as they were clothed with the robes of two of the greatest patriarchs in history is indescribable.

I connect strongly to the story of these men because Fathers Day reminds me of a great man who won't be showing up at the coffee house to meet me anytime soon. I long to sit in front of him and ask him questions that no one else can answer. There are words of advice that my heart longs to hear from him, and my ears will never hear.

Sometimes, after his grandchildren have fallen asleep in my house, I look at them and hope that I can one day have the courage or strength to be half the father to them that he was to their mother. I feel inadequate in those moments.

Yet, I feel comforted, strangely, knowing that he would encourage me at those times. With few words he would say just the right thing and my stress would be lightened.

There is very little lacking in my relationship with my dad. I love him dearly. For now however, Fathers Day is a reminder of one of the greatest men I have been blessed to know. It is a reminder to me of the kind of man I strive to be. It is a reminder that I have been joyfully tasked with the responsibility of taking care of his beautiful daughter.

Inadequate? Yeah, I know what that feels like.